I kissed the teacher
by cloudedhearts
Summary: *on hiatus* Amanda Rollins is a high school student with a crush on her teacher, Olivia Benson. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Warm Milk

**Okay just to clarify things... nothing illegal will be happening in this story, Amanda's supposed to be 18 and Olivia's supposed to be a teacher who just started to teach. Don't like, don't read.**

* * *

 **Amanda**

Amanda couldn't remember the last time she had felt something even remotely similar to what she was experiencing this instant. The woman's soft touch while she tenderly ran her fingers through Amanda's hair, planting soft kisses on her neck, temple, and forehead; the tickling of her warm breath as she whispered loving words into her hear – if Heaven existed, then it would probably be similar to this.

What was more, today seemed to be different. Most of the times they would just lay side by side, close enough to barely touch each other but with enough distance left between their bodies as to prevent temptation taking its toll on either one of them. Sometimes, when Amanda was tired, her lover would allow her to nap in her lap, and while she cherished those moments, they were never enough to satiate her.

But here they were, not half an inch apart from each other, and Olivia was actually touching her, stroking her arms with one hand as the other lay chastely on the lower part of her abdomen. It felt so good and familiar, Amanda thought that she would just be content with spending eternity laying at Liv's side.

She opened her eyes and tentatively stretched out her arms, but the older woman shook her head.

"Liv, please…"

"Honey, we've been over this a zillion times…"

Amanda sank her arms to her sides in defeat. She had been more than happy to oblige to her female counterpart's requests if that meant they could exchange more than just a couple of furtive looks in the hallway, but she was tired of the brunette putting up resistance to the slightest attempt on her part to reciprocate her affection. A wail escaped her throat and she got up from the bed, carelessly putting her blonde hair back into the usual ponytail.

"Amanda…"

"What!?" she snarled, frightened at the sound of her own voice.

"Look at me" Olivia commanded, her voice deep, somewhat threatening.

Amanda's body stiffened, this wasn't Liv talking, but Ms. Benson.

"Look at me" Ms. Benson repeated, her voice softer now.

Amanda obeyed, and when Ms. Benson offered both her hands to her, she took them reluctantly.

"Look, darling" Ms. Benson started, searching for sympathy in Amanda's eyes. "I know this doesn't exactly live up to your… expectations, and I know I may be asking too much of you, but please, Amanda, just bear with me a little longer. Please." And just right there, she was back to being Olivia, and Amanda thought that she looked timid, fragile even. The anger that had been churning up inside her dwindled away, she knew very well that she wouldn't, couldn't walk away from Liv. She cleared her throat, but nonetheless her voice sounded raspy as she started speaking, quiet at first, but then louder and louder. By the time she had finished, she was trembling, and when she felt two strong arms being wrapped around her she forcefully tried to fight back the tears that were starting to sprinkle onto Ms. Benson's shirt.

* * *

 **Olivia**

"Olivia, end this. End this, before it's too late". Liv let out a tired sigh. Usually, she had been able to silence her conscience during their encounters, but lately this task had proven to be increasingly difficult.

"Can I offer you something to drink?" she asked politely, but businesslike. At the same time, her eyes continued to admire Amanda in silence. Sometimes, especially when wearing her school uniform, she would look younger, no older than fifteen; whilst at others, she displayed the maturity and posture of a young woman in her twenties. She had always had a certain air of sophistication that set her apart from her fellow students, Olivia thought.

"Stop it, Benson" she mentally scolded herself. "She's just a girl, and she is your student, for heaven's sake, get a grip on yourself!"

"Ms. Benson?"

Amanda was observing her intently, an ethereal smile plastered on her face that made Olivia throw all caution to the wind.

"God, you really are beautiful" she said, the words leaving her mouth as though they had some life of their own. And then, as though she was talking about the weather, she added "What did you say you wanted? A glass of milk?"

Amanda stared at her in disbelief. Her cheeks had acquired a light shade of pink, and she looked flustered.

Olivia left for the kitchen, and Amanda could hear her rummaging through the drawers.

Inside the kitchen, Liv was silently cursing. She opened her fridge to get the milk and promptly spilled it over the kitchen counter.

"Ms. Benson?"

"Jesus, Amanda, you startled me!"

"I'm sorry" the girl replied, but it sounded more like a reproach than an apology.

"Here, take this" said the brunette, and handed Amanda an empty cup. She left the kitchen without an explanation, and moments later she was back, carrying an unopened box of milk. She turned the stove on and poured some milk into a small pot. Then, she took the cup from Amanda's hands without saying a word and placed it on the counter.

"Why don't you start unpacking your things in the living room?" she suggested, just as the silence was about to turn unbearable for both of them.

Left alone in the kitchen, Olivia gave a sigh of relief. Her mind was racing relentlessly these days, and she was aware that giving one of her students private lessons at her own house was, to say the last, unprofessional. And if this student happened to be Amanda Rollins, it was also highly irresponsible, not to mention reckless.

Olivia splashed her face with a few handfuls of icy water and took the pan off the heat. A thick skin had already formed on the white liquid, which she removed with two fingers. She passed the rest of the milk through a sieve and poured it into two cups, a small one for her, and the larger one for Amanda. She added a little sugar and a cinnamon stick to each and put everything on a tray.

"So, Benson, let's start with the lesson" she muttered to herself, oblivious of the difficulties lying ahead of her.

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 **Author's note: This story was inspired by a fanfic I read a while ago which sort of ended abruptly... before anything could happen between these two :( It's called "You Found Me" by DishonoredInk.**


	2. Carisi

**O** **livia**

Olivia balanced the tray carefully above her head as she pushed the door to the living room open with her hips. She blinked rapidly, this room was the most luminous one in the house and the large panel shaped windows reflected the sunlight like enormous mirrors, multiplying its intensity.

After a while, her eyes had adjusted to the brightness, and what she saw after opening them completely dazzled her. The light seemed to have concentrated in the middle of the room, where her protégée was sitting with her eyes closed, that absent minded smile that softened her features on her lips again; the one Liv adored so much on her. She continued to observe Amanda in silence, feeling like an intruder, and a slight pang of guilt hit her chest. Even if she would eventually stop blaming herself for feeling the way she did – there would always be someone who would hold her culpable, and damned would she be if she dragged an innocent girl into something she wasn't emotionally prepared for, and that neither her parents, nor the school, or society in general would condone.

Olivia was taken back ten years earlier; it was the time when she had first become aware of her attraction towards other girls, and this revelation had scared the hell out of her. But the one she had fallen in love with was a girl her age, and they had dated for a year, until Dana – that was her name – had moved away to Denmark with her family. Liv tried to picture in her mind what would've happened if Dana had been her teacher instead of her classmate, but failed in doing so, and the absurdity of their situation hit her with full force. She had to put an end to this once and for all; if not for hers, then for Amanda's sake. Liv took a deep breath, mentally bracing herself for what was to come.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to call her student's attention, Amanda uttered a strange sound, similar to the short cries a kitten or a puppy made in its sleep when dreaming. It sounded perfectly endearing, and she thought of leaving the room as quietly as possible, feeling she had disrupted something unique and special that she wasn't meant to witness in the first place. But as soon as she started to move backwards, Amanda awoke from her trance-like state and gazed at her intently. All of a sudden, Liv felt cold, and it took her a couple of seconds to realize why. Amanda wasn't looking at her; she was looking right through her. The tray with the cinnamon milk felt heavy in her hands, and she hastened to the table at once, putting it down with a thud.

 **Amanda**

They were lying in his bed completely naked, with only a thin blanked between them. Amanda's cheeks were burning, and she was panting heavily against Carisi's chest, who was panting scarcely less.

"That was…" She managed to articulate, before gasping for air again.

"Amazing, incredible, completely fabulous?" He joked around, earning himself a playful punch on his arm. "Ouch, what was that for?" He asked, pretending to be hurt, and nuzzled into her hair. "I love the smell of your shampoo," he stated. "It's peachy."

"I love the smell of you." She replied languidly and inhaled deeply, as to prove her point. Both fell asleep right away, with the sunlight tickling their noses.

Amanda woke in the middle of the night and found Carisi's side of the bed empty and cold. "Dominick?" She called into the dark, panic rising in her voice. The desk lamp was turned on, and Amanda saw him sitting at his desk, turned towards her, with his arms resting on his knees.

"Did you sleep alright?" He asked, with a worried undertone.

"Well, I was sleeping alright until you decided to get up and stare at me in the dark like some manic killer," she joked, deciding to tease him a little. "You?"

"You snore in your sleep, honey." He replied with a crooked smile. "I didn't get a wink of sleep."

"Liar." She said with a little laugh, and threw a cushion in his direction, which missed him by inches.

Carisi laughed mockingly at her, and then all of a sudden, his face adopted an uncharacteristically serious expression.

"Actually, I have been thinking… about us." He articulated slowly.

"Oh dear. Is this the part where you give me the whole _'It's not you, it's me'_ speech?" She asked, sitting up straight and covering her mouth with her hand, barely supressing a yawn.

His face turned somber. "Actually, it is me…"

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Please, Amanda, just hear me out," he said, and rushed to the bed to take her hands into his.

"What I'm saying is, you're a sophomore, and I'm in college. We don't have to… if you don't want to… I can wait." He finished, and Amanda could feel his hands shaking. She found his face in the semidarkness and caressed it with one swift motion of her hand.

"Funny though, you didn't seem to have any objections earlier." She whispered into his ear, making him tense up noticeably.

"See, you always do this." He complained half-heartedly.

"What do you mean?"

"Whenever I want to talk to you, you get all flirty with me, and we end up doing… you know…"

"Oh gee, your poor thing. I didn't know I was being so inconsiderate. I'll promise to behave." She purred, starting to massage his chest.

"Amanda…"

"All right, I'm sorry." She said frustrated, and now it was her turn to take his hands into hers. "I hear what you're saying, but I really don't want to wait any longer, I really don't. And I don't see why we should, anyways."

"I could come up with a million reasons." He sighed, squeezing her hands lightly.

"You worry too much." Amanda said in a hushed tone, and gave in to the impulse of running her fingers through his hair. She looked into his greenish blue eyes and knew that he still wasn't sure, and she was instantly filled with affection for him.

"You are such a sweet guy, Carisi." She said and gave him a warm smile. "Don't ever change." And with that, she pulled him closer and met his lips in a tender kiss, which slowly grew more passionate as their heated bodies pressed against each other.

"Wait." He said breathlessly. "You did it again."

Amanda grinned mischievously. "I'm good, aren't I?"

"You are an evil little minx, and I should really leave you high and dry."

"I'll never speak to you again if you do."

"I'll stay, if you keep your hands to yourself. I know it's difficult, with me being this gorgeous…"

"Ha!"

"Cuddle up against me?" He proposed, opening his arms invitingly.

"Sure." She said happily.

 **Carisi**

When Amanda turned the music on, he knew she was trying to divert his attention. There was something bothering her, he could tell that much from the slight frown that had appeared on her forehead, whilst her lips continued to smile at him.

An upbeat song started to play on the radio, and he recognized it instantly, it was "Five Years Time" by Noah and the Whale. Involuntarily, Dominick started to hum and tap his fingers to the melody of the music, and they drove like that for a while, he playing the percussion, and Amanda lost in her own thoughts.

"You know, that song reminds me of you, actually," he said as they were waiting for a traffic light to turn green.

"Really?" Amanda asked, mildly interested. "Which part?"

"I don't know, all of it. It's like you – the tune has some kind sweetness and innocence to it, but the lyrics are a little sad, almost a little depressing."

 _"Nice going, Carisi!"_ He mentally cursed at himself.

"So you think I'm depressing?" Amanda tried to joke, unable to ban a note of hurt from her voice as she spoke.

"No, that's not what I was trying to say, at all." He said hastily, and his words came out with a splutter. "What I meant was, sometimes you confuse me, because you seem like this huge mass of contradictions and-"

"A _huge mass of contradictions_? Really, Carisi? This is your way of wooing a woman?"

At that instant, the traffic light switched, and he hit the gas a little harder than intended, making Amanda jump in her seat.

After a while they finally arrived at the lake, and he slowly stopped the car, wanting to do as little damage to the flowery meadow as possible.

"Look Amanda," he said turning around. "About what I said earlier… I'm sorry, it didn't come across the right way. What I was really trying to say…-"

"I know, Carisi." Amanda stated simply, and leaned into him to capture his lips with her own. "Me too."

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 **So, what do you think about having Carisi in the story as well? I was just watching the new season a couple of days ago, and I loved his sweet attitude towards Rollins :) And Liv's comment about (SPOILER WARNING!) not liking "triangles" was just priceless, I laughed so hard :D**

 **Please let me know what you think ;)**


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